Divorcing or Separating

The first step to divorce or separation is to take the decision to live separately.   You may already have taken this step or may be about to.  The future may not be clear, but there is one certainty – you will have to make a number of decisions about practical, legal and emotional matters.

The easiest way to live separately is of course for one of you to move out of the family home, but this isn’t always practicable.  You can choose to live separately ‘under one roof’ but need to be aware what this involves as it is more than just having separate rooms.

If you are planning to divorce you will need to apply to the courts for a divorce.  There is a lot of useful information on the Courts’ website (search under HM Courts service) including a step by step guide to the process and downloadable copies of all the forms and documents.  You may wish to consult a solicitor for help with the legal process. Bear in mind that you will need two solicitors as the same solicitor can’t represent you both and this has implications for cost.  The costs of divorce range widely but the average costs are now around £26,000 per couple. 

In mediation you engage one mediator to work for the interests of all the family.  The mediator helps you through your negotiations. You will need to look at the practical arrangements for your children and your finance and property.  You will also need to talk about future co-parenting.  Some of the decisions are short-term and immediate but others will relate to events many years ahead (eg When will the home be sold?).

Once you have made your decisions the mediator will draw these up into a formal record of your decisions.  This can be given legal effect, that is, it makes your decisions binding.

You can come to mediation at any stage of a divorce or separation.  A trained and experienced mediator will help you work through the decisions you need to make.  Your mediator will work to facilitate your communication and negotiation.

If you would like to find our more you can make an assessment (MIAM – Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting) appointment with a mediator, for about forty-five minutes to talk about your case and what would be involved in the mediation process.